The Toastman Always Rings Twice

Heidi's cousin is a bit down - second on her list of possible career paths was being a Bishop, which isn't very likely now. Luckily, the top spot is still a Toastman - even though it is a career path by way of a mishearing it ticks nearly all of Heidi's cousin's boxes, except the clothes are not as good as a Bishop, especially in the rain or at a party. She has consolidated her choices by aiming to become a Bishop's wife and a Toastman, so she can borrow her husband's clothes and deliver toast, ringing only twice at each door or the toast will go cold. 
So that is Heidi's cousin wrapped up and ready for Christmas. Ced, however, has been found by Inspector Rebus, living under a false name (Ted) in rented accommodation, frittering away a huge stash of stolen money. It's exactly like last time, only this time he seems to be spending it all on biscuits.
Has anyone made their pies yet for the pie-off? And can we all give Christmas a miss this year?

at least £125

does anyone know if Inspector Rebus has retired or is he still available to look for Ced? Mark and Heidi took a photo of him yesterday but only got a partial print, although it was pretty obvious because of his head looked the same and that's usually the end of it. The way things finished up at the allotment, it wouldn't be a surprise to learn he'd gone back to the Island, but we are willing to spend at least £125 on some police work at this stage, seeing as he owes a lot of us a lot of money. We do not want a CSI sort of police. Don't bother applying if you're a CSI sort of policeman/woman - there's plenty of work for you elsewhere and it's honestly not worth working on Ced with Luminol etc as he never leaves any traces.
Otherwise, Mark's asking me to flag up his bookgroup for tonight. 7pm. Please bring a pie, and make a list of all the books you can think of before you come. Don't come if you can't think of 5 or more, or if you have made a false list, or if your list is unacceptable.

quince and two veg

Really nice that England won last night, but those quinces, HEIDI, are still waiting to be chopped.
Mark has been listing ways of using up quinces for ages now, although mostly it seems like a rerun of the Pear list, which is partly justified but partly just lazy. A few of them (quince pie, quince crumble, quince and two veg etc) you can even see the 'pear' partially rubbed out underneath the 'quince'. We were all hoping for some red white and blue options to go with the Jubilee but Mark hasn't thought of any. If anyone can think of a way of using up over 200 quinces and at the same time celebrating both the Jubilee and the Olympics, send it to Mark in the usual way. We're not holding our breath for it to actually come from him on his own out of his own head.