MARMALADE MESS

looks like rain again. has anyone got any ideas what to do when it's raining? when Howard was small he was apparently made to sing while his mother made something called 'marmalade mess' for his father. Our friend Ced told me he has never done anything at all in the rain, which I can believe of Ced because he is so lazy and it would be surprising if he had ever done anything NOT in the rain, or ever.

AQUA-SAAB

My brother Enobarbus has given out some bad christmas presents in his time but none so miserly as this year when he simply broke off a bit of the turkey while the Queen's speech was on and kept it behind his back until it was time to open the sack. So when he got a present from Heidi you could more or less SEE him shredding off a bit of the turkey to hand over with his customary smirk. He really is a loser. But in this case he got something for nothing, as Heidi had given him an i-pod docking micro-station for his aqua-saab, which is just what he wanted. We were all very cross.
Did anyone else get cross in a similar way at christmas?