CROCODILE for £2.50.

Has anyone got any space for a crocodile in their pond? I found a homeless one round the back of Sainsbury's - it looks okay but talks funny. I think something might have happened to it. I would pay someone £2.50 on collection.

JUST FOR A MOMENT.

hello everyone especially Enobarbus my weirdo brother who has just emerged from his hideout in Morrocco, actually, which he didn't think we would ever find out. Serves you right my terrapin brother. You have done much worse things than the onions and STILL you walk free......
Anyway, putting aside the bitterness of family JUST FOR A MOMENT, perhaps you can all tell me any dreams you've been having recently, just in case they are the same as mine. In the interests of unprejudiced research I will delay telling you what mine are as I know how many of you just can't resist telling a great big lie, even if it is obvious.