Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Reader, I married him.

Can anyone believe anything at all about the world today? Ced, for example, has just brought out a book, unbelievably, called 'Ced's book of spoilers', in which he tells you the ending of loads of films and books that you might want to read at some point. When he used to come and stay with us in Terrapin Waters he used to whisper endings to us just as we were dropping off to sleep and least resistant. On a similar note, has anyone got a dog who could either cook for a family OR run around like a maniac in wellington boots? I could use either sort of talented dog, and I would pay £2.50 on receipt.

33 comments:

swaffette Firefly said...

i have a dog that will run round with her head in a slipper would that count?
By the way loved the title for this thread and it gave me an idea how about we post and ending to a book or film and others have to guess it that would spoil Ceds fun too the little rotter.
Im gonna start you all off with one if you guess it you have to post one

you'll never guess - heres the ending
' "Ah but we do!" said the others. So no doubt they will get them. Adventures always come to the adventurous, theres no doubt about that!'

mark and howard said...

i think i know this one - is it 'Yah Yah HipHop' by RH Bancroft?

mark and howard said...

I want the dog who does the slipper-head thing. i will pay extra, maybe £3 if it is a good colour, and also the slipper must be quite fresh.

mark and howard said...

i'm going to guess again in case i've misremembered YahYah.....is it Adventures of the Dancing Man by RH Bancroft?

mark and howard said...

how many times are we allowed to guess, firefly? Howard is getting very competitive about it.

mark and howard said...

plus, does anyone know who this Jamie Oliver is? Howard has been mentioning him in his sleep and denying any knowledge of who he is when he wakes up. Also, Ced has given us a cookbook written by someone of the same name. I don't want to touch those recipes till i know more about who he is and what's going on.

Jammy said...

this is one of my faves, theres plenty more where these came from too.


I don't know. Not for sure. But I believe he is. You see, before he came down here, it never snowed. And afterwards it did. If he weren't up there now, I don't think it would be snowing.
Sometimes you can still catch me dancing in it.

mark and howard said...

is it one of those potter stories?

mark and howard said...

for guessing: 'He's not really much of a chicken dog. He's more of a rat dog.'

swaffette Firefly said...

blimey this is all very confusing are these really endings?? its time people wrote proper endings like and they all lived happily after and married the right people .
all the answers are wrong btw and who is RH Bancroft
Jamie Oliver is a person who goes round helping people who never learnt to eat properly im thinking Ced is probably in need of help

swaffette Firefly said...

im still wondering about jammys quote is it the Snowman?

mark and howard said...

Right. let's sort this out. grateful to firefly for explaining about jamie oliver's involvement in Ced's life, which makes perfect sense. he actually DID never learn to eat properly. I'm now worried that maybe Howard didn't either; i will have to start paying more attention at mealtimes.
Firefly's ending ... is it those chalet girls again? will you tell us when we get it right?
Jammy's ending - is it the Snowman? if not is it the one with the woman who can't get rid of those spots on her hands?

Jammy said...

its not the snowman i'm afraid but the guy who they are talking about is not very well accepted by society. poor lad

mark and howard said...

Swaffette is it 5 go mad in dorset?

swaffette Firefly said...

5 go mad in dorset is DEFINITELY on the right lines how clever you are! keep trying!

Jammy said...

4 lose the plot in butlins?

mark and howard said...

the castle of adventure. OR the island of adventure.

swaffette Firefly said...

you were closer with 5 go mad but i still want to know what jammy's is , it doesnt ring any bells at all!

Jammy said...

mine is a film with jonny depp in it. I've said too much now :)

mark and howard said...

is it Mr Scissorhands? saw that but the ending doesnt ring bells..

mark and howard said...

firefly is it the adventurous four?
if not, is it the secret seven? is it one of those potter stories? is it something you wrote yourself?

Jammy said...

yay it was edward scissor mits :)

Jammy said...

the fantastic 4? no that was a cartoon from way back.

mark and howard said...

five children and it?

mark and howard said...

no more talented dogs then? i would have thought there'd be loads!

swaffette Firefly said...

edward scissor hands are you sure jammy?? geeze
mine was Five go to smugglers top tough luck all i win ner ner ner

swaffette Firefly said...

heres a new one and a classic -
"oh father" said Eppie, " what a pretty home ours is! I think nobody could be happier than we are"
THE END

mark and howard said...

i believe we are in swiss family robinson territory?!
i can't believe i didn't get 5 go to smuggler's top. only a short while ago that would have seemed impossible.

swaffette Firefly said...

nooo not swiss family robinson shame on you Mark

mark and howard said...

i believe it is indeed shame that i feel. having said that, is it from Mary Poppins?

swaffette Firefly said...

i think you need to steer further into adult reading *glares at jammy over the top of her glasses' not in THAT adult way i hasten to add.

mark and howard said...

Dickens?

mark and howard said...

is it Bobcat and the Exorcist by Dr. Architron?