people who've done pears.

can anyone suggest a number for the number of pears you can poach and freeze without that you begin to start looking a bit like a pear and everything you look at begins to look like one too? I thought it is ninety seven, but that seems a bit low. I don't want any starter guesses, just proper estimates from people who've done pears.
Howard did a lovely green sauce last night with sorrel and lettuce and mint and parsley, and put quite a lot of rum in the fruit salad. We had such fun making our mascarpone ice cream for the - yes, of course -pears. Unfortunately, Howard went a bit funny this morning.
It's a shame that our home appears to have been listed on Terrapin Zero's appalling website; it goes without saying we trust our friends will ignore his hateful incitements.

The Benefit of the Doubt and a Cheer-Up Supper.

some of us are doing a little cheer-up supper later for Heidi's unfortunate cousin. Those of you who attended terrapin school in its challenging third year might feel able to use this as an opportunity to start rebuilding trust. We need all kinds of pungent sauces, especially old spanish ones. There's a lot of fish to dress up.
On a brighter note, Ced has become a vegetable prepper in the underwater cafe, and has got a girlfriend in the washing-up department. He may be thinking of a book he's read, but we are, for now, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

A* in breakfast smirking.

Would everyone please stop asking Enobarbus for his autograph just because he has shared a cell with Terrapin Zero; it is making him think he has something to be proud of. He hasn't, of course. He also got I think it was 31 new GCSEs today and smirked right through breakfast. He really is very annoying.
Ced is back. He's reading the back of a washing up liquid bottle as I write and looking absolutely baffled. He's had all the pots and pans out as usual, making his unusual chutney. If anyone can stomach any of this, after the disaster of 2009, he is (optimistically) selling it for £2.65 a pot, which isn't a big pot. Big enough though. He has been hinting that there's something extra in it this year. Mark had a little bit on a slice of toast 10 mins ago and the colour has all but completely drained from his face.

misleading recipe alert.

why aren't there any hummingbirds in the hummingbird cake in the hummingbird cookbook? does anyone know of a way to get through the present glut?
on another note, just a warning seeing as Enobarbus is doing community service again and might be turning up asking for wool or leather offcuts again. Those of you who were fooled by him last time should consider replacing your police shields. Mark has just laid traps right round our perimeter fance and a bit beyond; Heidi we will be round later to do your electrics. Enobarbus will be, as usual, contactable through the poetry cafe website if you want to try and book him for regular services - if we all pull together perhaps we can gainfully employ him to the exclusion of his criminal intent. yes Mark i know we've said that before.

made by a witch.

does anyone know of a cordial that either on its own or in combination with an accessible mixer would do ANYTHING to order the disorder in our troubled times? It needs to be inexpensive and not made by a witch.
on another note, a lot of us have noticed that since Enobarbus got his pass out of terrapin jail and started taking all those ridiculous exams he has become, once again, absolutely insufferable. Heidi is ill and it's hardly surprising. Is anyone out there qualified to give him an official 'fail' in aquastats? Because if he goes through with a distinction AGAIN we'll have big trouble.

His Usual Purposes.

does anyone know anyone called Wayne Rooney, because I have some mail with that name on that accidentally got delivered to Enobarbus and it was a real struggle to get him to pass it over rather than use it for his usual purposes.
and if anyone wishes to pass comment on the complete ineffectiveness of modern psychiatry they can go right ahead they'll get no argument from me.

chester in chester

has it been done?